RELATIONSHIP : Managing Step Children

The presence of Step children should not be a problem in a family of level-headed persons. But sometimes it happens that such problems crop-up.

Gerald, 37, an art class instructor, has two step boys. He is married since two years and his wife, a levelheaded woman of 45, has no problem with any one in the family. But Gerald feels, and keeps thinking too, that his own daughter of thirteen is not getting her share of a good family life. But he does not speak his mind.

One cannot expect his/her partner to be a mind reader. Without speaking about the real issues or needs, the misconception would persist endlessly.  If there is element of fear asking for own needs, the same is baseless and undesirable too if one wants to live happily in a family. It would also be wide of the mark to mask your real requirement and not to talk straight about the same.

Here the solution lies in following the Golden Rule: Honesty always pays. Be honest. Do spell out your desires before your spouse/partner. It would clear your mind and help finding a permanent solution. It would you’re your spouse/partner more attached with you, as such discussions help understanding how you value your relationship.

For talking together, for being open to each other, go to a good restaurant or plan your weekend on a hilltop. You can avoid involving children in the discussion if their behaviour is not a direct issue. Otherwise the children also can assist arriving on an honest solution; and it would be better not to underestimate the abilities of children in helping to keep family in tact. (Images courtesy Wikimedia Commons)

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